You have seen the meeting. A gifted thirty-year-old finally gets five minutes in front of the leadership team. He pitches the idea he has been carrying for a year. The room nods, says it will pray about it, and nothing happens. He drives home certain the older folks will never let go. Across town, a deacon who has served forty years watches another young person launch something, drop it and leave. He is certain the young ones do not stay long enough to be trusted with anything.
Both of them are partly right, and that is the problem. So here is the short answer. Bridging the gap is shared work, not a favor one side does for the other. Younger believers earn a hearing by moving toward the elders, staying consistent and learning before they push. Older leaders open the door by sharing the seat, meeting real needs and judging people by their walk instead of their wardrobe. The Jude 3 Project panel of founder Lisa Fields, Phil Burks and Ryan Gilliam was blunt about it: neither generation can carry the church alone, and pretending otherwise is how the bridge stays unbuilt.
What Is the First Thing a Young Person Should Do to Get a Hearing From Elders?
Go to them. The first move belongs to the younger person, and it is not a clever pitch. It is presence. Ryan Gilliam built his credibility the slow way, by parking himself next to leaders for years instead of months, both in ministry and in his career. Consistency did what no single good idea ever could. By the time he disagreed with something, he had banked enough trust that the room actually heard him out.
The honest objection is that this sounds like a tax on the young. Why should the new generation always be the one to move first? Because the goal is not fairness. It is fruit. Waiting for the elders to come to you can cost you a decade. Gilliam’s point is that the door opens from your side.
I don’t think that they’re gonna move toward us. I think we have to move towards them and spend time with them, not just through fellowship, but learning from where they’ve been so we don’t make their same mistakes.
— Ryan Gilliam
Dr. Bobby Manning, who has worked the same question from the pulpit, frames the why underneath it. He argues that any healthy church is a multigenerational church, and that the older generation’s confidence is meant to become the younger one’s courage. His way of putting it is that a young leader can do the hard thing because the elders did it first, before he even arrived. You move toward them not to flatter them, but to inherit what they already know.
Why Won’t Leaders Take My Fresh Idea Seriously?
Often because they tried it in 1977 and watched it fail for reasons they can still name. The instinct of a young leader is to treat every old answer as fear of change. Sometimes it is. Just as often it is scar tissue. Come in humble enough to ask why the last attempt failed, and the door stays open. Come in certain you alone will fix everything, and it shuts.
There is a self-inflicted version of this too. Manning warns leaders that when nothing lands, the cause may be closer to home than they think. His point is that maybe your target audience is yourself, and you hit yourself every time. A young person who only ever speaks to people exactly like himself should not be surprised when the wider church tunes him out. The fresh idea is not the problem. Aiming it at a mirror is.
How Do You Earn Credibility With the Older Generation?
By finishing things. Elders respect accomplishment, but they respect follow-through more. Phil Burks said it without softening: if your life is not in order, do not expect an elder to take your counsel. Pay your bills. Show up on time. Practice the faith you want to lead in. The standard is not perfection. It is a track record that says you complete what you start.
If you’re not living a life of example, paying your bills, going to church, showing up on time, the basic stuff, don’t expect an elder to listen to you.
— Phil Burks
Fields named the same trap from the other side. The millennial who reinvents himself every week (author on Monday, music producer by Friday) and never sees anything all the way through is teaching the older generation to ignore him. Credibility comes from walking through the hard middle of a thing, the part where it looks like failure, and coming out the other side. A finished marriage season, a finished degree, a business that survived its second year. That middle is where trust is minted.
Manning adds the spine for it. He says faithfulness means sticking through the thing even when it is difficult. The young leader who leaves the moment it gets boring or bruising never builds the one asset elders are actually watching for.
Should I Dress Differently to Be Heard in a Traditional Black Church?
If your goal is to be heard, yes, and Fields grounds it in the apostle Paul rather than in vanity. Know where you are and where you are going. Walk into a traditional Black church to be heard, and the suit is not a betrayal of who you are. It removes a distraction so people can hear the message instead of arguing with the hat. Paul circumcised Timothy (Acts 16:3) and became all things to all people (1 Corinthians 9:22) precisely so that nothing extra would block the gospel. A baseball cap at the wrong moment is the same calculation.
The pushback is real: is this not just policing young people’s expression? It would be, if the burden fell only on them. Fields pairs the tactic with a heart check that cuts the other way too. If a stranger looking at you sideways for a month can derail you, the look is not your real problem.
The more stuff you hold onto, the more toxic your soul gets. If you go into a church service and people are looking at you funny and that disturbs you for a whole month, then there’s some other stuff in your soul that you haven’t dealt with.
— Lisa Fields
Deal with the heart, and the small slights lose their grip. Dress to remove distractions, and refuse to let the distractions that remain run your week.
What Do Older Leaders Need to Change?
Share the seat, and judge the walk, not the wardrobe. The panel refused to make this a lecture aimed only at the young. Burks named a fear that lives quietly in some older leaders: that a gifted young person will take their church or peel off their members. He and Fields both called that fear misplaced. The members were never yours to lose. They are God’s, and a shepherd’s job is to serve them, not to hoard them.
Then Burks went after the gatekeeping directly. Rigid rules (you must be over forty, you must have been married fifteen years) lock out the very people who could reach the next generation. Put the couple in their thirties over the marriage ministry, because they can show other millennials how it is actually done. And stop fixating on a young man’s clothes before you have asked why he is even in the building or what he needs.
You don’t want someone leading millennials that millennials can’t relate to. We can’t have these job descriptions. You gotta fit in this box, and if you don’t fit in that box, we don’t want to hear you.
— Phil Burks
Dr. Brianna K. Parker, who studies why millennials leave, says the wound is specific and the leaders are usually missing it. Young people have always been welcome to give, she notes, just not to lead.
They’ve always been open to tithe and offering, and I’ve never been too young to give. But in many cases, you’re too young, under 40 and sometimes a little over 40, to really lead.
— Brianna K. Parker
Her fix is almost embarrassingly practical. Stop guessing what the young want and ask them.
Ask the questions. Where are you? What do you need right now? Stop just shooting in the dark and assuming millennials are looking for something they’re just not looking for.
— Brianna K. Parker
How Do You Handle the Wounds, the Money and the Leader Living a Double Life?
Tell the truth about all three. Bridging the gap means honesty about the things that keep the sides apart, and the panel did not flinch from the hard ones.
On wounds, Fields says the cure starts with remembering the hurt you have caused, not just the hurt you carry. We are all wounded people serving a perfect God. Go directly to the person who hurt you, the way Jesus taught (Matthew 18:15), instead of broadcasting it to everyone else. Reconciliation outranks showing off your gift.
On money, Fields refuses an easy comparison. When millennials hold the Black church up against well-resourced multiethnic churches with paid discipleship staff, the difference is usually an economic gap, not a willingness gap. A volunteer juggling a family produces different results than a full-time paid director. Judge the two by the same yardstick and you will misread your own church’s heart.
On the double life, the panel’s counsel is to leave quietly. You do not have to expose a leader living a lie, but you cannot keep sitting under one either, because a bad example from someone you respect corrupts you faster than almost anything. Darryl Ford, who has watched churches protect gifted leaders while their character rots, traces the rot to what the church rewards.
Competency gets praised so much more than character. We all feed that for which we’re praised the most. And so if you’re praised for competency, you’ll just keep building up competency and your character just suffers.
— Darryl Ford
Ford’s warning lands on both generations. Young leaders chasing applause for their gifts, and older leaders shielding a talented man whose fruit went bad years ago, are making the same trade. His test for humility is the line every generation needs taped to the mirror: the willingness to say, “I would never put that past me.”
Can Leadership Happen Outside the Four Walls of the Church?
Yes, and Burks insists on it. A young man can lead in his business, his fraternity or his career, and let that meet the need until he is ready, if he ever chooses, to lead inside the local church. Leadership is not a chair at the front. It is responsibility carried well wherever God has you. That takes the pressure off the young leader who feels shut out of the building, and it reminds the older leader that the next generation may already be leading in rooms he never visits.
Fields ties the whole thing back to need. The two generations are not rivals competing for one platform. They are two halves of one body that does not work split apart.
If we go after each other and humble ourselves, there’s so much we can do for the kingdom of God, because we need each other. We are codependent upon each other.
— Lisa Fields
Quick Answers
What is the first thing a young person should do to get a hearing from elders? Move toward them. Spend real time learning from them before pitching anything. Consistency over years builds the trust that makes them listen.
Why won’t leaders take my fresh idea seriously? Often they tried it before and it failed. Ask why it failed instead of insisting your version will fix everything. Humility keeps the door open. Certainty closes it.
Should I dress differently to be heard in a traditional church? If your goal is to be heard, yes. Like Paul becoming all things to all people, a suit can remove a distraction so people hear your message and not your wardrobe.
What do older leaders need to change? Share power instead of guarding it, drop rigid age and tenure rules that lock young people out, ask the young what they actually need, and judge people by their walk, not their clothes.
What if my leader is living a double life? Leave quietly. You do not have to expose them, but a bad example from someone you respect corrupts you faster than almost anything. Protect your own walk.
Can I lead outside the church? Yes. Lead in your business, your career or your community, and let that meet the need until and unless you are ready to lead inside the local church.
Listen to the Full Conversation
This piece draws on the Jude 3 Project podcast panel “Bridging the Generation Gap in the Black Church: Best Practices for Millennials,” with Lisa Fields, Phil Burks and Ryan Gilliam, and on Jude 3 Project conversations with Dr. Bobby Manning, Dr. Brianna K. Parker and Darryl Ford. Lisa Fields is the founder and CEO of the Jude 3 Project, a ministry that helps the Black community know what they believe and why they believe it. Listen to the full panel to hear elders and millennials work it out in their own words.
