Lisa Fields: Hello. Welcome to the Jew three Project podcast. I’m your host, Lisa Fields. I’m the founder of the Jew three Project. Well, thank you for watching another episode of the G3 Project Podcast. As always, I’m your host, Lisa Fields, the founder of the G3 Project. And today, I’m joined by a special guest, Yvette Henry. Welcome, Yvette. Thank you.
Yvette Henry: And then
Lisa Fields: Tell our audience a little bit about who you are.
Yvette Henry: My name is Yvette. I am a SoCal girl born and raised here in California. I am a wife and mother of four. I I’m a stay at home mom who homeschools. I am also an author of, a devotional, Release Rest Remain. It’s a thirty day devotional to embrace abiding over striving. I cohost a podcast, How Married Are You, with my husband, and we talk about marriage and parenting and life and relationships. And, yeah, that is who I am.
Lisa Fields: Well, it’s awesome to have you on the podcast. And, I think your book about, resting and remaining is so critical because we’re living in anxious times. I mean, every day you get on social media, you turn on TV, there’s something to be more anxious about. When did you what made you want to, write this devotional?
Yvette Henry: I think that when I first found the rhythm of Release, Rest, Remain, it was in a season of a lot of striving, a lot of, operating in my own strength. And over the course of several years, I feel like the Lord has been so gracious with me in being able to truly, like, abide and let go of things that were never mine to carry. And so, the opportunity presented itself, and I felt like I wanna share this message with the rest of the world, or whoever will accept the invitation to abide, to release, and let go of things that are not serving us and things that we shouldn’t be concerning ourselves with in the first place.
Lisa Fields: Mhmm. I know that for this, book, is it was deeply connected to how you were reflecting on John 15, I believe. Yes. Can you just share kind of how that scripture came alive to you and helped you, with kind of your framework and thinking about this book? Yeah. So I grew up in the church,
Yvette Henry: and I feel like when you grow up in the church, you can sometimes, encounter scripture as, like, oh, I’ve heard that before. I’ve read that before. You know, I’m familiar with this story and all the things. But, at the time that I encountered John 15, I had literally reached the end of myself. And, it wasn’t like it was a new passage of scripture that I had read or whatever, but it was the way that it resonated with me in that particular season of life that really I don’t know. It just it gave me life. I feel like for the longest time, I’ve been trying to produce the fruit and even be the one to eat the fruit. But but when I encountered that scripture at the time that this rhythm kind of fell on into my spirit, I realized that, like, oh, I’m not required to do anything. I literally am required to remain. Like, I’m a branch. What do you see a branch do when it’s on a tree? It doesn’t do anything. It’s only responsibility is to remain attached to the vine. And so and even just that analogy of the gardener, of God being the gardener, because it’s like whenever these trees and plants that are all outside and the beautiful make they look beautiful, they’re thriving, they’re doing all the things, the gardener is responsible for harvesting the harvest, like the fruit. Mhmm. And so for me realizing that I really can’t do anything. Like, if I want to live a fruitful life, that is in the responsibility of God. It’s not mine. And so it was, like, it was a very freeing moment for me. It gave me an opportunity to realize who I am, because really I am like, I can do nothing. The scripture says I can do nothing without him. And so, yeah. I just felt like it was and then it the other thing that resonated with me, I think, at that time was that, like, we aren’t intended to eat the fruit. You know what I mean? Like, the fruit isn’t for us. It’s for the people who we do life with. And I think that in and of itself was also a profound revelation for me because it’s like I’m trying to grow the fruit and also benefit from the fruit, but it’s not actually for me. So and I I think too, like, just understanding because I’m one of those people who’s like, I don’t I wanna feel productive. I wanna feel like I’m doing something, I’m getting something done. And to remain feels very inactive. It feels like I’m doing nothing, like I’m just twiddling my fingers or whatever the case may be. But it’s actually a very active posture to maintain and hold in relationship with the Lord.
Lisa Fields: Mhmm. You said so many great things. I really loved the the point where you talked about our fruit that we bear is for other people. Mhmm. And that to to me communicates that it creates a posture in us of selflessness Mhmm. In our in our commitment to the Lord and resting and remaining. And it’s like God is bearing fruit in us for other people, but other people, God is bearing fruit for us. Yeah. So it it creates like this, like, give and take in relationship Yeah. In community that really frees us from us doing the work for us, which kinda makes us self absorbed. But when we’re like, I’m not you know, this isn’t for me. This is for others. Yeah. Then that kind of puts us in a posture of, like, sacrificial
Yvette Henry: living. Mhmm. Yeah.
Lisa Fields: How can we the hardest thing for us to do sometimes is to do nothing. I think particularly for us as black women Mhmm. Yeah. We feel like we gotta do something. We gotta go get it. Nobody’s gonna come and nobody’s gonna come and save us. Yes. And so that, like, resting and just, like, sitting and not doing anything is very hard, for us, especially if we grew up in a household. I know, like, on your parents, old school parents, if you’re not doing nothing and you’re just sitting there idle, they’re like, what what you doing? Have you clean like, there’s something for you to do Listen. Until you grow up
Yvette Henry: now this house is a mess. Why are you sitting in front of TV? Yeah. Clean this up.
Lisa Fields: Yeah. So there’s always something to do. And so if when you’re thinking about that, you’re like, oh, man. What what else can I do? Or if you have, like, a big project, I know I’m guilty of this. Like, there’s so much to do organizationally that you’re like, okay. I can take a break, but I can be doing all these other things, and you end up kinda burning yourself out. Yeah. I feel like one of the things that I have come to understand is that
Yvette Henry: release requires trust. And so I feel like, for example, I’m in the middle of a book launch. Right? I’m trying to spread the word about this devotional. I feel like it’s gonna bless a lot of people, and I want them to encounter it. I want them to know that it even exists, that they should purchase it and, you know, sit with it. And so in this season, I’m finding myself waking up and kind of immediately going to my laptop versus doing the things that I know fill me up, like waking up, brushing my teeth, going on a walk, opening my bible, journaling. You know, like, taking it slow in the morning in order to set myself up for the day. Instead, I’m like, oh gosh. I gotta get this stuff done. I gotta make sure people are finding out about this. I gotta do whatever. And I had a moment yesterday where I was like, girl, you’re not like, you’re so busy trying to make sure that this message makes it out there that you’re not even living it. Like, you’ve got to live it out. And the thing that came to my mind is that, like, the lord told you to write this. He opened the door and made way for this to become an actual project. And so do you trust him? You You know what I mean? Because it’s like, I can only do so much in a day, and I also like I said before, I’m a stay at home homeschooling mom of four kids. And so Mhmm. They also need my attention and care and love. And so it’s like, if I start to think about all the things, then I’m just gonna be extending myself all day long. But the Lord, I think, is calling us to he’s not calling us to, like, not do anything. I think what he’s calling us to do is to do what we can and trust him with the rest. And it’s like sometimes we don’t give we don’t make enough space for God to do his thing. You know what I mean? Like, we can be faithful with what he has put in front of us in a way that doesn’t burn us out because that’s not what he desires of us. He doesn’t desire for us. He there’s scripture about, like, his yoke is easy. You know what I mean? Like, he wants us to care for ourselves and he wants to care for us. And a lot of times, we don’t make room for him to do that. And so I think when it comes to releasing, when it comes to resting, it is a it is our responsibility or is our call to trust God with the rest, to do what we can and trust that he’s gonna fill up the fill the gaps where he where only he can. Mhmm. So I just, yeah. I I I completely understand that, especially as a black woman or just a woman in general. I feel like we we always feel like we gotta do all the things and conquer the world, but, that god does not want us to be burnt out like we sometimes get ourselves to.
Lisa Fields: Yeah. And he like you say, he’s calling us to take care of ourselves. Yeah. I remember, it wasn’t was it last year? No. It was actually 2024. I had to have fibroid surgery. Mhmm. And so I had to I had the one that was the long one, so you you are out for six weeks. And I remember at the like, a month before, we got an invitation for our largest grant as an organization, and the deadline was, like, two weeks after sir I got my surgery. So I was like, how am I going how am I going to get this done? Yeah. And I remember in the process of my recovery, I was, like, struggling because I was, like, I really need to finish this grant, but I also can’t I can barely move. Yeah. So something has to give. Yeah. And I was like, I’m a just have to do it when I recover. Yeah. And I was so afraid that we wouldn’t get it be and I was I was like, god, I’m releasing it to you. And I just sent the people, the foundation explanation, and they gave me grace. And I was able to turn it in, and we got it. But I was like, I was able to turn it in, thank you, after I recovered. And I was like, if I had to push myself and not trusted in god, I would have probably hurt myself even further trying to get something done that God was like, if you just wait, I’ll take care of it, and I’ll give you favor for people to give you that extra time and space. Yeah. And so it was a lesson for me to, like, you don’t have to always push yourself. You can actually just take care of yourself, and God will give you the things Yeah. You need in the interim. And if it’s for you, even if you need additional time, he’ll he’ll allow it to happen. And so that was, like, a really good lesson for me to not to to for what you’re saying in your book, like, give it to release control.
Yvette Henry: You know? And I think that that is another like, going back to what you said earlier about how the Lord is producing fruit in all of us so that we can kind of, eat from each other’s fruit. And so I think even that is an opportunity. Obviously, it all worked out, but it is also an opportunity for us to lean into community, to find the people that we can depend on and ask for help. Like, I think that that is also a part of the release. It’s not feeling like we have to do it ourselves, but also being able to lean into community.
Lisa Fields: Yeah. I think leaning into community is great. I was literally just thinking about that. I was watching Instagram as I was preparing for this interview, and I saw this guy talking about he got a sofa from Costco, and it was like a sectional. And he was like, I had the big the grand idea to bring all this from Costco myself in a U Haul. And he’s recording himself struggling, and I was like, doing it yourself is not a flex. I’m sure he had. I’m sure I was like, isn’t there some friends you could call to help you move this big old sectional into your house? And so it was just a reminder, like, we need people Yeah. Because sometimes we’re we’re doing things the hard way because we don’t have people around us. Mhmm. And, I know that since as particularly entrepreneurship, I know you do entrepreneurship as well Mhmm. Alongside your husband. When you’ve had to do it so long by yourself, like pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps and you invest so much in it, it’s hard to let people help you Yeah. Because you have so much of a tight grip on it. And so, but it’s important because you can’t do it all by yourself.
Yvette Henry: Yeah. Yeah. I feel like too sometimes when you’re an entrepreneur, you have, like, a vision of what something should look like and be like. And so when you bring in other people and they don’t necessarily help you make it look like what you want it to look like, that becomes a challenge
Lisa Fields: too. Yeah. Yeah. It’s it’s almost like trusting God to say he’s sending you people to, like, expand your vision Yeah. Beyond, like, the the narrow vision and focus you have. Like, have you thought about it this way? Or you can it can actually be better. Yeah. I think about the the people that have that serve on the team with me now. And I’m like, wow. That’s a better like, I was so focused, but when I let you take it, it’s like, oh, that actually came out better than I was thinking it could be, but you are actually more skilled in this area than I am. And so Yeah. You kinda got it, in a way that I couldn’t. You you talk about the importance of community, and I think that is one of the key central focuses that is relevant for our day and age, because, loneliness is a big epidemic. The surgeon general said it’s loneliness is worse than smoking a pack of cigarettes. Wow. Wow. And so, it is a silent killer, but so many people are lonely because they fear getting hurt because they’ve endured so much hurt from other people, whether it’s the church, whether it’s friends, whether it’s family. And so isolation feels safe, but it creates a prison where you cannot actually do what you’re saying, live out what you’re communicating in the book. What would you tell those folks that are like, you know, it’s better when I do it myself?
Yvette Henry: That’s a really good question. What would I tell those folks? I think I would say I get it. I think I would say I get it. I understand. I I, I often have the thought myself. I’m gonna take it to my motherhood, my role as a mom real quick, because one thing that I’m realizing is that I have been so busy doing all the things, cleaning, cooking, whatever the case may be, that my children are missing out on an opportunity to grow in other areas. And so when I do bring them into the kitchen to help chop up some vegetables or peel some potatoes or whatever the case may be, it takes a load it lightens my load. And so I feel like it it is okay. Like, doing it by yourself, you feel exhausted, drained, overwhelmed. The load feels extremely heavy. But when you invite other people in, they’re not gonna get it right away, but eventually, they will. I think that it’s an opportunity. Community provides us an opportunity to grow as ourselves, but it also offers an opportunity for the people that we’re in communities with to grow as well. Of course, with discernment and wisdom. But I do think that it is valuable to lean on people. You know, like Mhmm. Jesus leaned leaned on the disciples. He didn’t he didn’t do anything by himself. He also he did take moments, you know, to retreat to himself, but, like, even Jesus did not do things by himself. And God was operating through him as well. So, yeah, I’m not sure if that was good or not, but we’re in this together, y’all. I’m trying to figure it out myself.
Lisa Fields: Yeah. I I I I love what you said. Like, Jesus had a community of people. He didn’t come to save the world and just he was by himself. He modeled what we would need Yeah. To live out our lives by having people around him to help him, on the mission he was called to do. And so I think, you know, even when I think about the trinity, is it’s a community Mhmm. Three persons Yeah. In the godhead. And so, it’s a communal, it’s a a revelation of the need for community amongst amongst us as people. And I just I think it’s it’s the enemy attacks us in relationships because he knows that’s where our our ability to thrive and live well comes. Mhmm. And so he tries to destroy the relationships we have with people, on every level, whether it be family, coworkers, friends. And so we really have to to try to fight against that. Yeah. What else about the book would you want our our audience to know that we haven’t already discussed?
Yvette Henry: Yeah. I I think that for me, something that I’ve noticed that people aren’t really fully grasping with the message of the book is that it’s release, rest, remain in that order. So, like, in order to rest like, if we have our fist like this and our grip like this and we’re holding on to things tight, this is not a restful position. And, also, it doesn’t leave room for anything to get back into your hands. So if we release our grip and we focus on allowing God to, like, literally take in and put in the things that are, for us, that is a much better space to be in. And it’s more relaxed and restful. So it is released. Like, before you can actually rest, you have to release. And so I think for, for me, that is a really important thing that I want. Like, the order does matter. It’s release, rest, remain. And then I want people to understand that rest is about trust. It, like, truly, like I could easily swap out the word rest for trust. It’s a matter of fully understanding who God is. It’s interesting because I’m like, man, there’s a lot of r words I could use because there’s also, like, remember. You know? Mhmm. Like, remember, you just recalled the story of receiving that grant and the circumstances around it. But it’s like Mhmm. When you do release, remember what the Lord has done in those moments, in those instances. We need to recall and remember, like, who he has been in our lives, who he is, and who he will forever be. Like, that is the most consistent person or not person, but that is the most consistent person, for the lack of better word, in your life. You know what I’m saying? Like, he has his character throughout scripture and throughout our interactions and relationships with him have remained the same. So I think it’s really important in order to rest. Like, I think sometimes when, you’d be like, remember that thing that and you’re like, oh, yeah. Like, do you see how I was like, oh, yeah. And you just kind of leaned back and you’re not as like it’s just, oh, yeah. I can I can rest because he’s proven himself to me in this way before? And then remain, it’s like once you once you’re like, oh, yeah. You know, like like, just let’s just remain there for a minute. Let’s remain in who God is. Let’s seek out his presence in our lives. When I first encountered John 15 in this way to give me, like, this rhythm, it was a time when old, unacknowledged grief encountered new grief and just blew up in my face. It was a time when I could not go on anymore. Y’all can’t hear my washing machine, can you? It just got really loud. Sorry. There was a time when old grief that I had been living with it was one okay. I’m gonna I’m gonna share this story because I feel like this is relevant. My friend Cobay Campbell, she recently preached this word about the miracle in the morning, m o u r n I n g. And she talked about when Mary Magdalene and the disciples came and they found the tomb empty. Right? Mhmm. And, when they found the tomb empty, they’re like, where is Jesus? What is going on? Like, they were they experienced this deep sadness. The disciples saw it, and the scripture says they went on back to what they were doing. Right? They, like, experienced this deep sadness, but then just went back. Mary Magdalene, though, she she sat there and she mourned. She, like, she so Covey distinguished. She was, like, grief is this deep feeling of sadness and mourning is this deep expression of sadness. And because Mary stayed there, she encountered the miracle in the morning. You know what I mean? Like, she was the first person to encounter Jesus, the resurrected Jesus. And so I’m sharing that to say that there is power in expressing your grief, in expressing your sadness, in bringing it to the lord. And when I wrote this devotional, I had lived a life like the disciples where I experienced sadness but just kinda kept passing on. It’s like, okay. That happened. It’s behind me now. I gotta keep going. Okay. Moving on, moving on, moving on. And when I had this old grief meeting, new grief because it was like, I experienced this loss. And then, like, what came over me was like, this doesn’t feel proportional to the loss that I experienced. Like, why am why does this feel why does this sadness feel so heavy? And what I came to understand is that I had been living with so much loss and sadness and grief that had gone on unexpressed and unacknowledged. And I literally had to take time in silence and solitude with the Lord in order to sit and be present with it. And when I did is when I encountered release, rest, remain. It’s when I understood that, like, I don’t have to carry all this stuff. Like, I can bring it to the Lord, and he can do the rest. The scripture or not the scripture. The grounding prayer that I have that you’ll hear about in, the devotional is rest and remain in the presence of the Lord and allow him to do the rest. And for me, it was so much effort of me trying to do all the things. But I feel like when we are able to rest and remain in the presence of the Lord, he gives us discernment and wisdom about the things that we are called to, about the things that we do need to actively pursue. And even in our own whatever, he fills in the gaps because we can’t do it all. But he comes and he does the rest. And so for me, I want people to understand that that it is in that order. Release, rest, remain. But also, it’s not a period at the end. It’s not a period. It’s not release, rest, remain, period. It’s re release, rest, remain, repeat because we are human. We will naturally try to pick something else up and do the thing. And so Mhmm. We are like, I’ve done it myself. It’s like, oh, I got it, Lord. Let let and then it’s like, he we have a moment, and he’s like, girl, if you don’t put that thing down right now, what are you doing? I done told you. I got this. You know what I’m saying? So for me, I call it a rhythm because it really is something where it, like, I don’t think it ever becomes, like, something that we perfect. I do think that it becomes something that we operate in in with more ease eventually. Mhmm. Mhmm. And maybe we’re picking things up less, but I don’t know if it’s ever something that we fully arrive at. And so, the invitation is to release, rest, remain, repeat. Because naturally, we try to pick stuff up all the time.
Lisa Fields: Yeah. I love that you highlighted the release part, because I think most people have control issues. Yeah. And so we wanna control every aspect of our lives. Yeah. And we wanna be able to analyze we wanna be able to control people’s responses and reactions, and it it keeps us stressed. And so the ability to, like, take our hands off is is crucial. And I love the illustration if your hands are closed Yeah. You can’t god can’t take anything out or put anything in. This has been a very rich conversation. How can people get connected to you on social media, and how can people get your book?
Yvette Henry: My name is missus Melanin on all, platforms, m r s m e l a n I n. My book is available wherever books are sold. So wherever your favorite retailer is, I’m sure they have it. You can also find me at yvettehenry.com. Yvette is spelled with a y. And, yeah, I’d be out here. You can find me.
Lisa Fields: Thank you so much, Yvette, for joining us. It’s been a rich conversation. Thank you all for tuning in, to the G3 Project podcast. Remember, you can catch all our past episodes on our website at g3project.org. We are in the middle of our ’39 campaign. So, you can find out more information on that of going to ju3project.org/donate. All of our resources, we have this new teen curriculum, Faith That Makes Sense, to prepare teens for the questions that they will have in college around faith. All of that is on our website at g3project.org. Remember here at the G three Project, we’re helping you to know what you believe and why you believe it. Until next time, grace and peace and God bless.