Lisa Fields: Hello. Welcome to the Jew three Project podcast. I’m your host, Lisa Fields. I’m the founder of the Jew three Project. Well, thank you for watching another episode of the G three Project podcast. As always, I’m your host, Lisa Fields, the founder of the G three Project, and I’m trying to get through my intro without laughing. And my very dear friend who’s with me today this is my second time shooting this, so hopefully this one takes. Okay. Listen. The reverend doctor This is the Brianna
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: k. Parker.
Lisa Fields: How are you doing? I am
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: energized and wonderful. I’m so excited to be here. No. I’m feeling great. I’m excited about your book. Yeah. I’m excited. You know, you hit that finish line, you know Yeah. Because it’s really interrupting dinner multiple times throughout. So I am really glad that we do not have to stop or anything like that. No. But for I’m proud of you because you had to do I don’t think people understand what it’s like to do, write two books back to back. One Mhmm. I can’t
Lisa Fields: we don’t want it. Okay? We don’t wanna have to be here. I will I never say never, but I plan I hope to never do it again.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: Yes. A lot. It becomes your life in so many ways. You know? But no. You fin you were able to not just finish, but finish strong and do work that people need. So I’m excited
Lisa Fields: to be here to talk about this and, you know, it’s just timely. Yeah. And I’m excited to have you, you know, the woman of God you are.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: This is nuts. Do not talk to me like that. Oh my gosh. Oh, god. Girl, what? Let’s let’s move past this whole intro statement. It’s crazy.
Lisa Fields: Tell us why do you think this book is important for this moment.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: It’s important because, I mean, threads is overtaken with either people who when I think about it, who are either trying to prevent this from happening Mhmm. By calling everybody out, you know, like, you know, nobody’s good enough, you know, always, you know, in your comments telling you what the bible says, whether they know it for real or not. All those things is one. So I think people are trying to either prevent it from happening or they are reeling from it happening with nowhere to go, no answers, no plays, nothing, you know, to do a group study on, read it with your friend, you know, let it be a part of your devotional, you know, as you heal. I think this is what people are talking about and going through, but there’s kinda no answer, no solution, no resource for it. Yeah. And and, you know, when people first saw the title of the book, I think some of them thought it was about to be an expose.
Lisa Fields: That’s what they would want. Yeah. And it’s really trying to get people to heal. And I realized the more I engage with people, like, I’m like, do you wanna heal? It’s it it makes me think of when Jesus asked the man, do you wanna be made of? Mhmm. Because there’s a people get stuck
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: in their woundedness. Yeah. Yeah. And when just to even think about, like, John five, not only you know, he asked the question and then, you know, he starts giving answers. And I love it because he were like, he was making excuses. No. He’s trying to explain. I think, when I look at it, instead of giving excuses, I think he’s trying to say, I’ve tried to, you know, like, get out of this. And so every now and then, you have somebody who’s tried to get out of it, but you have a lot of people around the pool, you know what I mean, who are probably more comfortable at the pool than they are anywhere else. Mhmm. Mhmm. You know? And I think sometimes in this world, people make a social media ministry around the pool. And if they get healed and they can enter the water first, then they have to start all over. Mhmm. Sometimes it’s better to just go with the brand you’ve built. Mhmm. Even in dysfunction. Mhmm. And I think that’s where we where we find people. I mean, I think of some people who are on social media to be grumpy, people who call people out and talk about this and that. And without that, you wouldn’t even know. I mean, honestly, they would probably have to consult somebody to even make a shift. You know, it’s not really that easy to shift from the broken or whatever, if that’s how you wanna call it, to healed. Mhmm. And I don’t know if social media has a space for healing. You know? Either you’re broken or you’re healed. I don’t know if people wanna see you healing because it’s messy. Mhmm. And so, unfortunately, especially, you know, Threads Threads has given us good old messy.
Lisa Fields: Yeah.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: And I think it’s dangerous, but it’s dangerous because you get such a audience. Mhmm. You know? And once you build a following, anybody will tell you, you know, it’s hard to break from that. You know? Like, it’s hard to decide who is next for you. Especially when you start monetizing it. Oh, absolutely. Or think about, people who quit their jobs behind it. So I I know somebody who I mean, they’re trying to monetize, but they’re prioritizing quitting their job before monetization. They feel like if they give it their all. You know what I mean? For some people, this is this is entrepreneurship. It’s a faith journey. Mhmm. You know what I mean? Just like, you know, I was like, I can do BMC without a job. This is what god is calling me to do. Some people were saying I can build a a brand of brokenness. Mhmm.
Lisa Fields: Yeah. And it it can be profitable because there’s a lot of trauma bonding around shared pain Yep. Without any path to wholeness or healing. Absolutely. When you think about your own times and personal spaces where you had to heal from seeing people you admire, fall, what wisdom did did you would you have wished you would have known during those seasons?
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: What would I wish I would have known? Did things come back around? I wish I would have known that it wouldn’t have been our last encounter that, I would have the opportunity to say what I needed to say. I think part of it just felt like such a muzzle. You know what I mean? And that’s hard, because what I was intentional about that I knew I did not wanna do was talk. I knew I had a platform.
Lisa Fields: Mhmm.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: And I know, you know, just kinda, you know, naughty by nature is what I am. It would have been, you know, easy to rally people. Mhmm. But I knew that was not what God was calling. I’m not saying this is for everybody. I’m not saying silence is for everybody. But my thing is if I wasn’t gonna talk to because mine wasn’t, like, illegal. It was it was just betrayal and pain and and I knew so much other stuff behind the scenes. So for me, it was if you either you talk to the right person or you talk to no person. Mhmm. You know? Like, I mean, I would, of course, have conversations with my friends, but just airing somebody out for the sake of it just wasn’t it. But I felt like I had a muzzle because I can’t tell who I need to tell and, you know, I don’t even want my friends to feel like, here she come with this again. You know? And I just wish I would have understood that that there was still time Mhmm. And that things would come back around and I would have the opportunity to say what needed to be said. And that by the time I got that opportunity, there was nothing left to say. Mhmm. Because my life had said it by then. My life said, what you meant for evil. God has will and will always use for good. You know? My life said, you didn’t make me, that this was always a god thing, and that god would be faithful to me even if you had not been faithful to me. So my life did the talking. So by the time it was time to have a conversation,
Lisa Fields: there was nothing to say. That’s powerful because it makes me think of, Joseph. He didn’t his life Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Was more than enough proof.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: Absolutely. And and this is what I always tell people. When people want something or, you know, they feel like they they they need more from people who wanna be vindicated, I always say this. I can tell the people who just come up, like, run up on something versus the people who have been gifted or called to something. Because when you have the opportunity to give them what they deserve, you don’t want it. You don’t need it. That was how I need it. Mhmm. Like, I I need you to feel this. Mhmm. But by the time it came, I wanted to exhibit the greatest amount of grace. And it wasn’t like I’m going doing a pep talk, like, come on now. God has been too good to us. It was like, how would you spend your time trying to do something negative? You gotta pull negative out of you. Mhmm. You know what I’m saying? Like, your life has you’re you’re blessed, incredibly blessed. You are favored. You have gifts that are on display. You know how far you gotta reach in to find the negative Mhmm. To then, you know, get girl, we don’t do that no more. Yeah. And it ain’t sure so trying to be vindictive. Yes. Because I can think of so many times I tell people who I am and what I’ve done has nothing on what I thought. Baby, I didn’t plan. I didn’t have strategy. Come on. Give me a plate, but gotta have x’s and o’s. Okay? We’re gonna start right here. We’re gonna make this play. As soon as that I’ll never forget. This is so somebody fail. Right? And in their fall I think I was the tipping point for their fall. And I’ll never forget. This is crazy. I said, keep playing me if you want to. And I promise you that not only will the stuff you do bury you, every time it looks like you are coming up out of the hole and seeing sunlight again, I’ll make sure it buries you again. Like, girl, what? Who is thinking that far in event? And I’m like, no. You’re the bad guy. Mhmm. Now you’re doing the plotting. Leave that to them. That’s what, like, they are called. That’s who they are. That’s not who you are. Mhmm. And now you strategizing. I mean, like, I’m thinking it through. I can see it. You know, you gotta see it to believe. You gotta see it to believe it. So, like, I’m like, turn me off my head while I’m trying to get in the zone. Do you hear me? Like Not turn me off. I am. You gotta get in the zone. You know what I’m saying? I was like, really trying to feel I’m like, girl, no. This don’t even come naturally to you. And you don’t always tell people what you think will get people will not. It is not. It’s like what you think gonna go viral. You know what I mean? Anybody who’s on social media knows the stuff that you like. Oh, or preach. The stuff that you like, this right here, they gonna feel this part. They be like And then the stuff that you trying to just get out the way, they’re like, oh, it’s good. I remember I was telling somebody. My friend just reposted a prayer that I pray. I don’t know why the prayers I pray, like, trend or whatever, but sometimes they being mean to me, sometimes they’re not. But I said, God, if you don’t give us an explanation, give us peace. Mhmm. And I’ll never forget. This is a prayer I pray pretty consistently. And one place where I did it, like, the church went up when I said it. Just like a not like a celebration, but, like, you could hear a, like, a verbal, like, or like, like, you could hear it. Mhmm. And I’m just like, what? Like, to the point it was hard for me to go on because of and I was just and then he says everywhere he goes, and he’ll, like, tag me when he says it. And I’m just like, that’s what That’s what y’all picked?
Lisa Fields: Girl, let me tell you something. And you’d be thinking that I there was a clip I told our team. I was like, hey. I think this is really gonna be impactful. Can you share this? It it didn’t gonna work.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: That’s how I beat them for real. And that’s how it is. You cannot choose how somebody’s gonna fall or how people are gonna respond to it because I have seen and and this is what I can’t stand. I had to be honest with you. I cannot stand this. I tell people all the time, unfortunately, as a woman, it had you had to be so strategic about your pain. Because if a woman shares her pain, seven times out of 10, she’s gonna become the bad guy before he ever will. And it’s not until, you know, Clarence Thomas is Clarence Thomas, and they’re like, maybe we should listen to Anita Hill. You know what I’m saying? Like, it it doesn’t now you think she care about what we think now? No. Like, that’s not how that works. But it takes a while, especially when it’s a woman, like, to be heard and, you know, like, everything to come together. But as a believer,
Lisa Fields: you cannot orchestrate somebody’s downfall in the way that you think you can. Yeah. Because it you will you will you will shoot something and it just it bounce off of them. And it might propel them. Yeah.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: It might be something that send them further home. Yeah. Like, literally, we have seen this happen. And it’s just like, and and some of it is they they’re upset with me because somebody posted when, Nicki Minaj was, like, quoting scripture and stuff and they were like some people are like, I’ve been praying about this and then I was like, no. You ain’t praying for your cousin who don’t know Jesus, but you’ve been praying about her. And God God called me to pray. God called you to pray about Nicki Minaj, but not about Marcus and Michael and Jenny from the block. That’s odd to me. But I said, y’all are so easily manipulated and the people were coming at me. I mean, they were eating me up. This one girl started, like, putting stuff on my business page and everything because she was so upset. And I’m like, y’all upset that quoting quoting scriptures is not exciting me. The first time she tried to quote it, she didn’t do it right. So this is her do over. And get mad at me for not saying hook, line, and sinker, oh, she’s a believer. I should follow her. Like, y’all mad at me? Y’all not mad at her. You mad at me. Like, this is confusing to me. And I have seen Christians time and time again side with people you would never imagine they would side with. Mhmm.
Lisa Fields: That’s why you have to let God handle people. And by the time he handle them, like you said, you’ll be like, I’m praying for mercy for him. Absolutely. It’s off my heart now. You know what I mean? Like, to God be the glory.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: I wish you the best. You know? Like, can I buy you dinner? Like, I just don’t and and this is not and you remember you remember this time? I said, I’m letting go of my my my was it my blacklist? Yeah. Yeah. Because I had people on my list. Like, I’ll never forget one time. This guy did me dirty. Like, I only know, like, one, like, major rumor ever about me. And this is what I learned. Did you know this? Like, when there’s a rumor about you, you’ll they’re less to know. Now. I thought when there’s a rumor, every time the person walks in the room, they’re feeling embarrassed. I didn’t realize they didn’t know the rumor. Mhmm. It’s I mean, clearly when it’s not true. Right? Mhmm. And I’m sure when sometimes when people’s stuff get out, if you’ve been doing it so long and so comfortable with it, you don’t even know. So this guy did me dirty. Like, he sat at the table starting this room, perpetuating. He went from table to table. So I knew his name, but I had I didn’t know him. And, one day, we’re in my friend’s installation. I’m walking in or whatever, and, he’s like, hey, Rhythm Bree. And I said and I look I said, is that that boy that started that rumor by me? And they’re like, no. That’s not him. I said, oh, Cassie, well, hey, man of god. Yeah. My friend said, girl. Get out of here. My friend said you don’t even know how he look. I think you gotta let this go. Like, what? So I did. I let go. I said, I feel God telling me, you know, I’m holding on to say, I gotta remember who I gotta be mad at. Like, literally, I have to remember who to be mad at, who did me wrong, what they do. And so I remember one time and I said something, you said, I thought you were giving up your blacklist.
Lisa Fields: I said that. Yes. Oh, I probably did.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: I am. I took somebody off for a second. They they they they re offended and they deserve to be on there. But it’s so funny because I was like, that’s true. Like, I’m better than this. You know what I mean? Like, this is me. At this point, you’re returning to vomit. You know what I’m saying? Like, this is oh, it’s regurgitated. It’s it you moved on past it. Mhmm. And some reason, you decide to go back and return to foolishness. Like, no. Come on. Now I ain’t saying I liked it. I didn’t get mad at you, but I was just like, what? When I say let me see. Well, I guess I did say this at some point. Girl, you talk too much. Sometimes sometimes when the Lord try to deliver you, you you gotta be quiet because you don’t want no accountability because I did not want accountability. And it’s so funny because this person comes back up because this person keep reoffended, and I’m over it. And I still to this day, he said, I thought I thought you said you gave up your black list. And I just be like, okay. Let’s just move on again. I’m just like, I don’t want it no more. But, yeah, we we we get beyond some things. Right? And the here’s the here’s the part that I cannot stand. I tell you all the time. There’s no way I’m gonna let you live free, and I’m a live bound. No. No. No. No. No. We’re not gonna do that. Because it might not last forever. Your freedom might not last forever. But right now, you are comfortable. You, you know, semi healthy. You know what I’m saying? You’re just walking around living your best life and I’m somewhere fuming, wondering if I can get your lights lights turned off, wonder wondering what I can do, you know, just to harm you. I’m just not gonna live like that. Yeah. And I tell people too. Sometimes I think when you’ve given your best to the worst, you would be, misusing what God has given you to give your worst not to the best that could come. Mhmm. You know, we just I understand. Somehow, we have just given everything we could. We have served well. We have loved well. We have done given our absolute best in the wrong situation. Mhmm. And then now everybody who encounters us gets our work. I’m not gonna do that. Yeah. I refuse to leave my best on the cutting room floor or I refuse to leave my best, you know, in the wrong hands. No. No. No. No. No. If that’s how you got to know me, somebody else gonna know me better. Mhmm. Because they deserve it. I for whatever reason, whether it’s my fault, your fault, everybody’s fault, my service has been in the wrong place. My love has been in the wrong place. My tithe has been in the wrong place. My gift has been in the wrong place. It happens. Mhmm. Now let’s go do better in the in the best place or in the right place. Mhmm. I think at some point, we just have to get to that place. Mhmm. In in the episode we did with, doctor Vincent Bacot, he talked about finding out that one of his theological
Lisa Fields: heroes he was reading about was a racist. Like, you read books that people give you at seminary. Yeah. You read a little you read, and you’re like, oh, this is good stuff. Yeah. And then and so I remember reading in the comments. They’re like, this was helpful for knowing how to navigate people that disappoint you that are dead. Mhmm. How do I manage the living? Mhmm. Because it’s one thing to be able to look back at a work and be able to delineate. Mhmm. This was helpful. This was harmful. Right. Right. When the person is still living and this is a active Yeah. Messaging. And I’m not talking necessarily about them maybe being racist, but just doing harm at the same thing. And it’s like, man, you’re preaching good, doc. But my god, this is this behavior Is. You you know, you you advocating for women in the pulpit, but you womanizer? Yeah. Like, you know, make it make sense. Yeah. So, like, what does that look like? The the active how how do you what wisdom would you share to that person?
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: You know, another thing about why we can forgive and move on and figure it out when when the person deceased to it because we can make up something. Oh. You know, whatever can settle our spirit. You know what I mean? And some of us be better than others. Some of us, you know, write fiction. You know what I mean? That could never be real. Some of us writing a good you know, help with a docuseries. You know what I mean? Like, we just add a little bit to it, but this is more realistic. But I think what happens when they’re living is they have the opportunity to continue to disappoint you. Mhmm. Or we want, accountability and change behavior in the way that we expect it. And I don’t think that’s I don’t think there’s hours to determine what it looks like, and I think you’ll be waiting and wasting too much time waiting for it to happen. You know? I think when they’re living, you have to resolve some things in self that will never be resolved in relationship.
Lisa Fields: Mhmm.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: Even if you can have a conversation, that relationship probably is not gonna return in that way. Mhmm. You know? And so I think with the living and it depends on you know? Because sometimes it’s our peers. That means you have to operate with them still. Mhmm. You know? And there have been people that have just, you know, decided ain’t gonna be no partnership around chill. Okay? Like, I gotta stay away from them. But I think a lot of it is gonna be, like, inner work because rarely does somebody like, did you see the girl on threads who when Spirit closed? Did you see her? She said that, they fired her, you know, unlawfully and that’s why Spirit got shut down. So it’s like 17,017 people without a job. So Mhmm. Because three months ago, they fired you unlawfully, the Lord said, I see fit to make sure 17,000 people don’t have a job because vengeance is mine, says the Lord.
Lisa Fields: That’s that’s a very interesting
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: perspective. It is because you don’t think I made any promises to those people? You don’t think God, you know, that is committed to them? Like, I think that’s wild. I mean, rarely will you see people get what you want them to get and especially in a timely fashion. Mhmm. And I just I just don’t wanna wait around like that and lose my life. I tell people whatever days I got, oh, I wanna live them. Do you hear me? I mean, fully live them. And if I’m waiting around for somebody else to get payback, you know, it’s a waste of my time. And I think that’s when the offenses is offenses kinda you know, it’s not illegal the same. It’s not the same type of physical or emotional trauma. It’s not easy to deal with it when it’s illegal because you could literally Absolutely. I can just call the police. Because let me tell you what a Christian don’t care about, something that ain’t illegal. Baby, you gonna wait for that church.
Lisa Fields: If it’s not illegal, you’re gonna have a hard time telling them church people anything. And that’s that’s I think, that’s what I was trying to to, we were doing I was doing a q and a somewhere. And I said the challenge is in church because people could go start another church And do? They could go start another movement online, and people are And do. Yeah. And disconnected from what they did to you or the harm they did to others because it’s the Internet is so vast. Mhmm. You’re not gonna be able to get everybody to warn everybody. Oh, of course. And if you’re waiting for people to feel how you feel about an offense to move on, you’re gonna always be broken. Mhmm. Because I can remember with the situation in the relationship I was in, and I talk about in the first book. I remember telling leaders or preachers this is what happened. They still Adam Breach. Like, you know what I’m saying? And then at first, it was like, y’all, I just told y’all what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it’s kinda like everybody doesn’t feel it like you feel it. And because everybody doesn’t feel it like you feel it, if you’re waiting for everybody to get on board with your trauma I’m not happening. You’re gonna be you’re gonna be stuck. Yeah.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: And And sometimes you’re talking to their twin. Hey, twin. You know what I’m saying? Like, so you over there looking for some type of sympathy or, you know, resolve and the people like, oh, I’m glad it’s not me. And I’m gonna go tell them let me go tell them shit around here talking about it. Let me go tell them here right here telling people what you do. You know what I mean? Like, you don’t always know who you’re talking to. Mhmm. And, you know, sometimes, you know, leadership is aware. So when you go say something, it’s like, oh, here’s another troublemaker. You know? We gotta silence this person. And I think that hurts. You know? That that hurts. If you are in community with people,
Lisa Fields: that hurts more than whatever the leader has done. Yeah. And then people process things different. So I remember a friend of mine was saying she was telling her mom about something. And because her mom is of the older generation, older church people process things differently. Oh, very much so. And so they’re like, baby, it’s you know, people gonna be people. Yeah. And they move on. Mhmm. You know? Younger people tithing and keep serving and get your roof over their roof. Yeah. Younger people are like, oh, we’re not gonna do nothing about that. We’re not gone. Oh, yeah. And because the funding may be there because the the funders haven’t moved Yep. You you saying so if it’s not illegal, you know? Yeah. It’s not it’s like, oh, well, you gotta get over that. Mhmm. That’s okay. That’s how people perceive it. So you can’t get stuck. And then you may have to leave that church, but I’m saying you can’t hope for everybody to to feel what you feel and move the way you would. Yeah. I agree. And
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: we also come with our own stuff. So the way we see it could also and what I’m not talking about is, like, offense against someone. I’m not talking about, like, the clear things. Right? Yeah. That we know. We’re not talking about abuse. Right. No. We we call the police. That’s what I keep telling people. Just call skip skip skip the church and call the police. Right. The church sometimes I think when I when I look back at certain situations, I actually would purposely keep the church out of it until I call the police because sometimes the it the the cover up is intentional. You know? I just I think sometimes we have to remember that we are also looking at something from certain perspective. Mhmm. And that can still color our, perception or recall. And, of course, when they talk about abuse and things like that, but I’m saying, what somebody owed you, how they should have done better by you, or how they may have betrayed you can look different. And you don’t know who else is having a conversation. You don’t know what else they believed in addition to this. You know, all those things that come in. So I I also try to caution myself, like, to remember that it’s a possibility that some part of this is skewed Mhmm. As far as what you owe somebody. Because one thing I know, church people think you owe them a lot. And in the black church, if you give $2 baby, put my name on that pew. And come come if I sneeze because y’all wouldn’t even have a church open if it wasn’t for me. Me and my giving, and you get 20¢ every every week. Like, I remember being working for the church one day, and whatever they didn’t like, I don’t I can’t remember what it was anymore. Praise God. I’ve gotten beyond it because I used to remember this story well. When I was in the bathroom, you know you know, finishing up washing my hands and somebody said whatever it was, she said, and I pay your salary. And I said, no. You pay for the water that drips if I forget to turn off the faucet because you don’t pay enough tithe to pay my salary. But in her mind, if I give, hello, Pinocchio? Do what I say do. Like, what whatever I want. Wait. Was Pinocchio who Geppetto was? I I can’t remember. Don’t worry about it. They become the puppet master. If I give you $10, then I need to be able to have two votes for every meeting. I need to be able to sit in my seat. I need to be able to tell y’all how things are gonna go. You know, like, people kinda imagine that they have more, say in places based on what they give, based on what they do, based on how long they’ve been there. You know? All those things are working. You know, all those things are at play with whatever is happening, and I think we forget all the other players in it.
Lisa Fields: What what do we do with the messages we hear?
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: You know, old school would tell you take the meat, leave the bone. I’m a little different at this point in my life. If your heart not right and I know better, you can’t you can’t minister to me. That does not mean everything that they say is bad. I’m I’m not arrogant enough to believe that God cannot and has not ever used them. I’m not, I believe too much in a kind and good God to believe that somebody gets to keep standing before you just saying the craziest of things the whole time and God just like, well, you know, maybe in about sixty two years, we’ll change something. I I don’t believe that either. So I think God’s word is true, and that doesn’t mean everything they say you throw out. But I definitely don’t sit and listen to people who I know, you know, aren’t living in a way that allows them to that I believe allows them to minister to me. I tell people all the time, the reason I don’t listen to, certain music is because a racist can’t lead me in worship. So you’re gonna come one Sunday and you’re all good. And then the next one, you’re down on the front line on a Saturday in July. I don’t believe it. You can’t say nothing to me. I don’t want it. I don’t want it. Because I think that’s too important. You know, you can’t you can’t you can’t leave me in worship when you can’t love me because of my skin. Just like you can’t preach to me when you don’t do right by the people God has called you to serve, whether that’s your family or your congregation. If you don’t serve them well, don’t worry about giving me no worry, baby. Hold it. Okay? See if the Lord got something for you because clearly, I’m not the priority. You are. Ask the lord what the lord want you to hear. So I I just feel a little different about that. Now I’m not saying what they say isn’t, you know, bible, but you know what? You know what I’ve been thinking lately? Okay. This might look. We might be going into, like, dinner conversations that we normally have, but I’m starting to see people when they have this wild, rocket type skyrocketing success. One of the first question I said, God, is this you or is this evil? Because I’ve seen in the Bible where they battle it out and they look alike. My god. So literally, I started, God, is this you Or is this evil? Because I have seen evil mock or mimic you. And numbers don’t mean nothing. And success don’t mean that does not mean it’s you. So, you know, these days, if it’s a message that you’ve already heard, I think you sit with it and you ask god, you know, what you should keep from it. Mhmm. And when there’s a message to come, I just don’t understand those people who tell god ain’t told me to left yet leave yet. Did you ask him? God ain’t told me to leave yet. I mean, is there exit door? Are they holding you? Are you tied to something? I just don’t understand that I have to sit here and listen to somebody I don’t believe in to give the word. The word is true. It’s not changing. But some some people just can’t communicate it to me no more Because Brianna is, flawed. Brianna is no. I’m not talking about perfection. I’m talking about just sitting there playing with God on a consistent basis and coming in and trying to deliver a word. No.
Lisa Fields: Mm-mm. Yeah. I think something I I’ve been thinking through really was Peter’s words about how husbands should treat their wives so their prayers won’t be hindered.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: Maybe the believers don’t believe in that anymore.
Lisa Fields: But I’m like, one thing you should consider is if there’s and this I don’t think this has to be just a a male leader in how he treats his wife. It could be a female leader, and she’d be
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: disrespectful to her husband. I think it could go both ways. She could be cheating. Remember, we just saw that on social media where the woman passed her, I think, or whatever. The man had a real issue because he said she kept cheating. And then we don’t know if that’s true, but then, you know, he harmed her because of it. So we know it can go either way. Yeah. So
Lisa Fields: it’s not gender exclusive, but the principle is that god cares about how you treat the closest person you’re in relationship with. And he says your prayers can be hindered because of that. So if you have a leader that has consistently demonstrated that they don’t treat their spouse correctly Yep. Why would you want that as your intercessor as a leader?
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: Because they believe they’re gonna be faithful to praying for you when they’re not faithful to their family? Because I think it’s cause who said the way you do anything is the way you do everything. And I’m a believer. This who you every night you sleep with this person or, you know, when y’all in town or whatever, you sleep with this person every night, you made a covenant with this person, you are financially responsible for this person or you’re financially responsible with this person and you’re not gonna be faithful to them, I ain’t got a chance. Don’t worry about me. Again, hold a prayer. It might you might need it. I just I don’t know why you would believe something like that. But it’s because church people don’t really care about what’s happening around family as long as you can still perform well for us. Yeah. I remember hearing,
Lisa Fields: a pastor’s wife who husband had a major failing, and they ended up divorced. And she said, man, if the church hadn’t been so anxious to push him, even Even when he was trying to take a break, they was like, you know, off off offshore. We need you back in there, doc. She said he probably coulda kept his whole family and the church. Mhmm. But he kept the church and eventually lost his life.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: Mhmm.
Lisa Fields: But it was like she said she watched him say, just get back in there. Yeah. You don’t three months is good. And so it’s kinda like helping people to say, hey. If you really love people, one of the ways you could actually love them is saying, hey. I want you to take a break. Mhmm. Not because I think you can never get back Mhmm. But because I think a healthier you is healthy for you, your family Mhmm. And your longevity.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: Yeah. Yeah. You know, we learned, you know, to preach our way through things. And, I mean, I I think the model isn’t great, you know, for pastors to preach every single Sunday and never hear a word from, you know, from someone else. Even for me, you know, before Brianne was sick and I kinda, made some adjustments to my schedule, preaching more than half the Sundays of the year. If I was doing something else or traveling on that Sunday and going somewhere, that’d be telling me, like, I ain’t even heard from nobody in a long time. Somebody should be speaking into your life. And so I don’t I I think that model doesn’t help it either. You know, that model helps the whole preach your way through it because you can’t sit down and hear nobody else preach. Mhmm. So all you got is what you’re saying. Yeah. That should never be all you hold on to. But I could totally see people taking the time. And now this whole sit you down thing, three months or what, it ain’t real people. I’m a sit myself down. That there’s escaping accountability. Like, I’m not even gonna give you the opportunity to say it. I’m a say it. I’m a quit you before you quit me. You know? And so I feel like that it’s become like a joke almost when there are actual steps for reconciliation and repentance that I think people could go through and possibly save their marriage, their church, and their life. Mhmm.
Lisa Fields: Brie, as we close, when we think about the next generation of leaders, what do you want them to know? Some of them have seen a lot, and them seeing a lot could make them go in the same path. It’s like, this is what success looks like. You know? You do a little dirt. You you get away with it. You know? Mhmm. You move on. It’s all under the blood. Yeah. Of course. Of course. I know so many leaders that get caught up in they were doing good. They were sincere. They were faithful Mhmm. Until they got around the wrong people. And they were mentored into this stuff. Yeah. And some people want them want to see them have a downfall so they can have dirt on them. Mhmm. What would you tell that young preacher that’s coming up, man or female, to help them guard their heart, from being discipled into foolishness?
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: Yeah. If being faithful to people doesn’t look like being faithful to God, abandon it. You don’t need it. Wherever you think it can get you, you can get there without it. And I think we are two people to show you there’s another way. You know? There’s another way to follow God. There are not other avenues to being faithful, and it doesn’t have to be a revival. I am still I I still feel incredibly blessed that I get to preach around the country. I really do. But if I had to have BMC or I had to have preaching engagements, so much that I would go against being faithful to God so that I could be faithful to a group of people that I thought could put me on, I wouldn’t have much to show.
Lisa Fields: Mhmm.
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: You know? We are not sovereign. We’re not, you know, we’re not miracle workers. And the fact that you feel called and will also leave your life and ministry in the hands of people is probably a red flag and a signal to send you to counseling, to send you back to God. And I think people this happens a lot easier when you don’t have that clarion call. Mhmm. If you don’t remember, if your call came from your grandmother or you kinda being in the right space for so long or somebody take you under their wing and didn’t know how to mentor you into anything but preaching, it makes it more difficult to say no. But I think when you remember that clear end call and, you know, that this started with God Mhmm. And it should end with God and it should stay with God, that makes it a lot easier. Because there are times when I literally can think through I’ve had opportunities granted, to me that people never thought I would get this way. You know? You gotta play the game. We hit it like, you just gotta play the game. I don’t have to play the game. I’m a be faithful to God. And and fidelity will take you places that clout and proximity never could.
Lisa Fields: Yeah. Yeah. It’s the proximities, I think that makes people feel like it’s kinda like high school. Mhmm. You gotta be in the it crowd. And it’s like, now you could just go home. Yeah. You could just like, nah. I’m good. I don’t wanna come to the after event. I don’t wanna meet you at the you you will be safer hanging out with childhood friends
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: sometimes than going to some of these places. Yeah. And I I think we always feel like we’re gonna miss something. And one thing I adopted a long time ago is you can’t miss God. What God has for you is indeed for you. And anybody else who does it, they’re gonna have a great value version of it, and we don’t want it. Yes. We want the original because authenticity wins the day every time. Yeah. And to be clear, I have watched people who start off as, like, beautiful people who were mentor into things that they never should have been in, and it doesn’t feel good while they’re in it. It doesn’t look good on them. It don’t fit them. They’re miserable. They’re uncomfortable. All the things only to come right back to the same place Mhmm. If they get out. Yeah. Sometimes you don’t get to get out like that.
Lisa Fields: Yeah. And, you know, it’s not to say there are so many faithful people out there. So many. It’s more faithful than but they oftentimes are not in the there’s and there’s faithful people in the in crowd. So I won’t I won’t I don’t wanna make that Absolutely. Broad stroke. Absolute. And that’s sometimes how the in crowd gets grace
Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker: and power because of the people who are faithful and just won’t let the others go. You know? I’m not saying you need to be that either. You know? That that that’s a tough position to be in. But to be clear, I think some crowd, some groups have favor because of the faithful who are in there, and they think it’s their own works and it’s not. It’s because you have that faithful friend who decided they’re committed to God and they’re not gonna bow to you, but they won’t let you go. Mhmm.
Lisa Fields: Well, this has been a rich conversation on so many levels. Thank you, the reverend Oh, gosh. Brianna k Parker. Thank you all for tuning in to another episode of this series on When Heroes Fall. The book is available wherever books are sold. You can get all of our past episodes at g3project.org, on our YouTube channel. Remember, we cannot do what we do without generous support like you, so consider donating. Hit the net donate tab. Until next time, grace and peace and god bless.