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Study guide · Apologetics & Culture

How Do You Listen Well Before You Defend Your Faith?

Reviewed by Jude 3 Project·2 min read

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A standalone study on hearing the concern beneath the objection.

The big question

Most of us, when our faith gets challenged, reach for an answer before we have really understood the question. Yolanda Solomon teaches the opposite habit. She listens, sometimes for years, to find the concern hiding underneath an objection, and only then speaks the gospel to it. This study is about learning to listen as the first act of love and the first move in apologetics.

Key takeaways

  • Your posture should match your message. Serve people before you preach at them.
  • Every objection sits on top of a deeper core concern, often a wound.
  • Listening keeps you from answering questions no one is asking.
  • This kind of listening can take months or years.
  • The person in front of you is an image bearer, not a worldview to defeat.

Scripture to sit with

James 1:19. Be quick to hear, slow to speak. The order is not an accident.

Proverbs 18:13. To answer before listening is folly and shame. Scripture names the rush to respond as foolishness.

1 Corinthians 9:22. Paul becomes all things to all people to win some. Understanding someone is part of reaching them.

Romans 1:19-20. What can be known about God is plain to everyone. Solomon’s goal is to surface a God people already half-know.

Quotes worth discussing

Solomon says, “The posture of my response should reflect the shape of my salvation.”

On the work, Solomon says, “My job is to listen well, to find out what those core concerns are, and then articulate the gospel in a way that addresses those concerns.”

On patience, Solomon says, “This listening might take months, it might take years.”

On the person, Solomon says, “The person that I’m engaging is an image bearer of God and not just a worldview.”

Discussion questions

  • Think of a recent disagreement about faith. Did you answer the surface question or the real one?
  • What might be the core concern under an objection you have heard often?
  • Who in your life needs you to listen for months before you say anything?
  • Where are you tempted to treat a person as a worldview to win rather than a person to love?
  • What would it take for you to be slower to speak this week?

Go deeper

This study comes from the Jude 3 Project’s Life of an Apologist course with Yolanda Solomon. For a related conversation, see the Jude 3 episode on choosing conversations over debates.

A closing reflection

Pick one person you tend to argue with about faith. The next time it comes up, ask one honest question and then just listen, with no rebuttal loaded. See if you can name the concern underneath before you say a word in response.

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