Rest as Reality, Not as a Reward.
When my Momma died, I lost the person who defined my core identity. I was and will always be her child. I was not just her janitor, cook, gardener, or dishwasher—though I helped her with many of those things. I was her son. When I came home I expected to be taken care of, and felt it, too. Biscuits, pound cake, gravy, and an egg custard and yeast rolls that I can never reproduce in exchange for clean gutters, cut grass, a full woodpile and a grapevine that would be easier to get to.
Out of this depth and breadth of abundant love that makes the Mariana Trench look like a ditch in the Pacific, I went out into the world, and I believed I could do anything.
The way that I felt with her in my corner is the way I was supposed to feel with God. But I didn’t.
I believed in my bones that my Momma gave me her love because she was supposed to, and that because God loved me I was supposed to serve Him. And so instead of seeing Him as my good Father in heaven who loved me deeper than she did, He became a slave driver whose affection shifted with my performance. If I did well, He was pleased, and if I didn’t, He was dissatisfied. Every speech, assignment, and action was a referendum on my identity. Therefore, sabbath was a reward for a week well done, not a restful, restorative reality out of which I was sent. The faith I internalized spiritualized this reality.
I am not talking about the faith of my sun-kissed ancestry that pulled enslaved people through enslavement, the violence this country seeks to whitewash out of individuals and institutions across every place where colonization and its kindred continue to show their faces. I’m talking about White American Folk Religion—a race, class, gender, and environmental hierarchy that takes whiteness, greed, patriarchy, and extraction to ungodly extremes and baptizes that heresy under a false messiah.
Ideology to Individual
This ideology worked its way all the way down—ideological, institutional, interpersonal, intimate, and individual—and twisted the love I received so freely into an interpretation that bound me up.
Ideological: If you don’t work, you don’t eat. You get what you earn, what you deserve, and deserve what you get.
Institutional: The classroom, football field, and workplaces operate in a perfect meritocracy. My grades, paycheck, and letter jacket attests to that fact.
Interpersonal: I received these things because I am better, good, and worthy. And I am as good as the company I keep.
Intimate: I must make the people who made me proud, and I will not be a disappointment.
Individual: I must earn my keep and keep my place.
This is the foundational narrative of a plantation faith where the gospel is no good news at all and grace isn’t so amazing. My ticket to glory, just a result of God’s favor for the good ones among us all. And oh, I would be a “good one” distinguishing myself in every way I could from the common people around me to get my crown and the biggest residence in heaven. Lord have mercy.
His Yoke is Easy and His Burden is Light. America’s Chains are Hard, Heavy, and Dark
The late Dr. Bernice Johnson-Reagon was a field secretary for the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) and founding member of the Freedom Singers and female acapella group Sweet Honey in the Rock. She was a holder of Black wisdom, a model of beauty and resistance through song. She committed Matthew 11:28-30 to song, and it is a Spirit-filled invitation to stop. To get off the hamster wheel, treadmill, and conveyor belt of false identity and struggle for a sense of sovereignty that simply never comes. The Scripture says:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (NIV)
I do not believe it was any coincidence that Jesus invited us into rest. As Solomon said, there is nothing new under the sun, so it is my fervent prayer that we as His body would say “yes.” And that begins with our bodies.
If rest is the foundation, the rhythms of restoration are the walls, studs, and joists. When we are well-rested, we are better able to discern what people, patterns, and practices fill our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual cups, and we are able to pour out and participate in the mutuality God made us for. These are necessary for a house to stand, and it is this constant, unwavering love that holds us up.
I do not sabbath because my work is done. I stop because Jesus said, “It is finished” (John 19:30). My identity and place at His table is fixed. So when my kids enjoy our White Elephant exchange on Christmas Eve, it is not because we did our best to alleviate childhood poverty all year. When we have our weekly pizza and movie night, it is not our payment for buying all the fruit the mango lady had to sell in the rain. Our nighttime prayers are not ones of pleading exchange with God, but of blessed reception, proclamation, and praise. Nightly, we pray, “I am accepted and God is not ashamed of me. I am His and He is mine. I’m a child of the Most High God” and we sleep in response to embody this reality.
My children will know that my love for them comes without condition. And they will know like I do now, that our Father’s love does too. It is from this blessed place that we seek justice, love mercy, and walk with God when we awaken by His grace to live out the Great Commission and obey the Great Commandments.
Bio:
Jonathan P. Walton is a writer, speaker, and facilitator at the intersection of faith, justice and emotional health. He leads Beauty and Resistance Cohorts, writes The Crux on Substack and is a senior resource specialist for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship focusing on political discipleship and civic engagement. He has written five books, including Twelve Lies That Hold America Captive and Beauty and Resistance. He holds a degree in creative writing from Columbia University and an MA from the City University in New York in the Study of the Americas. He lives in Queens, New York, and attends New Life Fellowship.
Link to Jonathan’s website:https://www.jonathan-walton.com/
The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the Jude 3 Project. Content is for informational purposes only. Some posts may feature guest contributors. To inquire about writing for Jude 3, contact us at blog@jude3project.com.